Director's Plan

Write a paragraph or two about your childhood, or an aspect of your childhood, that is close to your heart, personal and honest. Be as descriptive and poetic as possible. What are your specific memories? What did it feel like? Sound like? Smell like? Taste like? Whose faces do you see? What did the world look like to you? What did you love? What was frustrating? Where did you feel safe? What frightened you? What did creating feel like to you then? How did others see you? How are things different for you now?

Every Saturday, I would sit on my dad’s lap as he played the original Tomb Raider and Myst trilogies, sometimes also a driving game my mom hated because you could hit people and there was blood. I thought it was funny. My favorite, though, was Tomb Raider. I called it the “girl jumping game” because Lara can jump insanely high. I thought someday I could do the same. I wanted to learn how to run really fast like she does, how to run even all the time; most of all, I wanted to learn how to fight and survive like her. my goal was to be as strong and capable as she was. Those days sitting quietly, watching in fear and awe as she overcame obstacles, my dad calming me when I was scared she was going to die – they were my favorites. Sometimes she did die, too, but she always came back. My parents argued a lot over my watching these games, over what shows I should watch, over who was right and was wrong and who should make dinner and how incapable the other was… I remember them both asking me to choose one of them to tuck me in at night. It felt awful having to choose, like it was some kind of competition. They were a terrible couple, so I think it actually was.

I had a lot of intense dreams when I was a kid. Still do, actually. I don’t think they were necessarily attributed to the games that my dad would play, but I do even still have many dreams set in caves and I think those are definitely because of Tomb Raider. I had so many dreams in caves and dark places and having to escape, feeling boxed in and afraid as the strangers I wanted to hide from crawled through my window and held a gun to my head. I had a recurrent saga of nightmares about the end of the world, where I was trapped in an underground cavern with a swimming pool that was sometimes filled with man-eating Jell-O. I could see out of grates sometimes, where police cars and helicopters searched for murderers and evildoers in the streets. At the end of this dream saga lasting many months, I was able to help my sister escape through a grate and I was left alone in the dark until help came. That dream never returned; maybe little Alison is still down in that sewer. This fear of being attacked still haunts me today; however, it’s a lot more emotional than it is physical, now. I think growing up in an emotionally violent household had a larger effect on me than I even still know.
Create a numbered list of 20 or more specific people, places, or things from your childhood. These should be personal and specific to you. Often, the first several will be cliché—so go beyond that by digging deep into your memories and heart. Be vulnerable and honest. Circle or bold those you might you use as metaphors, symbols or motifs to communicate emotion. (Remember, when using symbols, less is more!)

1. Lara Croft, my hero
2. The closet my dad had his computer/ hobby space in in our first real house
3. The closet my dad had mine and my sister’s computer in that we would shut ourselves into and it got SO HOT in there
4. Rachel, my sister
5. Louisa, my best friend who was extremely manipulative and always smelled like weed
6. McKylee, my other best friend who had pretty blonde hair and had every Disney movie
7. McKenzie, her younger sister who I think is a psychopath because she would hurt us just to see our reactions
8. The 1990’s iBook I would play Tomb Raider on when they got dirt cheap and outdated (I still have it)
9. My stuffed lamb collection
10. The sidewalk outside my condo, where I found many lovely ants and roly-poly bugs
11. My first elementary school P.E. teacher who made me and the other kids run until we cried so many times I think she got fired
12. The dollhouse from my preschool that the cool girls would sit on. I think I threw a car at them once because they wouldn’t ever let me join and I got in trouble.
13. The Miss Piggy puppet from my Kindergarten classroom that everyone wanted to use
14. The gross rolls from the cafeteria in 1st grade I had to dip in chocolate milk to tolerate
15. The trail where my sister scootered too fast down the paved road, biffed it and got a crazy roadburn
16. My dad’s old childhood home in Farmington, UT
17. The cabinet underneath which I hid my friend Chad’s hairs when we cut them off in an act of rebellion
18. Our bathroom which for some reason had red shag carpet
19. The mirrors in the condo where I would watch myself attempt to bite my toenails for some reason
20. The Bountiful ice rink, where I was terrified to go out onto the ice but loved the smarty-flavored suckers they always had there
21. My mom’s engagement/wedding ring
22. Our pencil sharpener (which I stole and now have next to me right now)
23. The old coffee table I would take naps on because I was a floppy, flexible child who could bounce back from things like that
24. The smell of Melon Medley and Berry Explosion chapsticks from Blistex
What overall emotion would you like the audience to experience about your childhood?

I would like my audience to feel and understand how I learned to accept and even engage in emotional violence. I want them to see the way that I interpreted my parents’ arguments and learned from that environment. All the way up until my mission, I think I truly believed that the only way to solve a problem was to get angry about it and manipulate my target into doing what I wanted. I want them to see the logic in that, why someone might believe that’s true and how we can empathize with people who haven’t learned to communicate in healthy ways yet.
Describe what happens in the film in three or four sentences. In other words, what do we see as the film starts (the beginning), as the action rises (the middle), and as it concludes (the end)? (In a traditional narrative, this is the story. If your story is more avant-garde, describe the beginning middle and end of the experience. (Although not required, you can write a script if you find it helpful. If you do, feel free to attach it with your Director’s Plan.)

Tiny Lara (renaming for the theme’s sake) sits on dad’s lap as he plays Tomb Raider. They are interrupted by mom who begins to argue with dad about whether or not Lara should be watching that game be played, and the fight grows larger until it is no longer about Lara. Later, she plays the game by herself, in the tutorial level titled “Lara’s Home” because her mom says that level is safe and non-violent. However, in this level, Lara is still able to wield guns and shoot at the butler; we see a montage of Lara shooting at the butler mixed in with footage of her parents fighting with each other.
Describe a single image that best captures the essence of this emotion of your childhood. (It does not have to appear on the list above, but it should appear in your film.)

Tiny me, overshadowed by my parents as they fight. I wasn’t afraid, but instead attentive and eager to learn about how to survive these fights. I want to play with light here, and instead of putting their shadows over her, putting them to the side and using a flickering light on her to create the illusion that she’s looking at a screen as this fight is unfolding.
How can you make a film that is clear, honest, and beautiful, but that also subverts the audience’s expectations of a film about childhood, and surprises them? (Consider: How can you avoid a film with a single emotion? If your childhood was tragic, what was happy about it? If your childhood was mostly blissful, where were the sadnesses? How can you avoid clichés about childhood? If your film is more avant-garde, can you provide a hint of story or character—even if it is not elaborated on? How can you imply or evoke rather than explicitly state? How can you use ellipsis to allow the audience to fill in gaps and create meaning? How can visual elements such as space, color (or lack thereof), line, shape, movement, composition, and so on, help you evoke emotions? What about sound and music?)

I think the emotions and concepts I want to incorporate are as follows: safety vs. danger (what is safe and what isn’t?), love vs. anger (can anger be involved in love?), and humor vs. pain (is it funny to see someone be hurt or weak?). I think listing them as contrasts rather than singular entities will help me gauge whether or not they are effective. I want to explore those extremely contrasting ideas to show just how deeply these emotions are felt; I want humor to be involved in places it shouldn’t be to show how incorrectly this child is learning, in places where the audience definitely wouldn’t laugh. I want to show the confusing difference between love and anger, and where the difference lies, if there is one at all. I think the best place to do this is during the fight that Lara watches.
Strong films create an emotional journey. Considering what happens in the film, what are three or more descriptive words to capture the progression of emotions you want the audience to experience as they watch this film about your childhood?

Warmth, pity, fear, understanding.

Why this progression?

I want the audience to understand that the girl loves her family and her family really does love her; however I also want them to realize that growing up in this environment is actively harming her. I want them to see through her eyes, at the same time realizing and understanding that Lara is learning some very incorrect behaviors that now seem normal in her eyes. I want them to understand why she does not know this is wrong, to empathize with her.

What specific images do you intend to show to create this journey?

The first shots are going to be very warm. In fact, even the fight between the parents; this is normal life for Lara and it is a good life in her eyes. The image I already listed with her watching the fight like it’s on a screen will show how she’s learning from this experience. That is also where we feel pity, because she does not know it is wrong to be so unkind. We feel fear in act 3, where Lara is actively learning from her family unhealthy behaviors. Through the contrast of her intrigued and interested face with the anger of her mother’s face and Lara’s shooting guns, we become very afraid of what she’s learning and what she will become. If I have time, I’ll also get angry expressions from child Lara that will then transition into scowling adult Lara. That transition between child and adult is where we’ll feel the element of understanding.
Describe the First and Last images of the film.

FIRST IMAGE

Lara and dad playing Tomb Raider together, Lara intrigued. Dad is smiling. Soft lighting, soft colors.

WHY CHOOSE THIS IMAGE FOR THE AUDIENCE?

To show parental bonding and safety.

LAST IMAGE

Grown up Lara scowling/glaring at the camera. Harsh lighting, dark colors. A culmination of what she learned in childhood, Lara is now an aggressive and fearful person.

WHAT DO THE DIFFERENCES/SIMILARITIES OF THESE IMAGES COMMUNICATE ABOUT WHAT HAS/HAS NOT CHANGED OVER THE COURSE OF THIS FILM?

In the first image, Lara is small, teachable, and impressionable. She is eager to learn and her father is so eager to teach her. While we don’t see the entire journey of how she got there, this is the beginning of Lara’s journey to being taught to be emotionally prickly and aggressive; the last image is a lot darker, a lot more dynamic and shows a dramatic shift in character for our protagonist.

List three potential obstacles you may face in creating a successful film. What could go wrong creatively? Logistically? Describe how can you be prepared to overcome these? Be specific!

POTENTIAL OBSTACLE:

Child actor is not able to portray emotions I need.

POTENTIAL SOLUTION:

Play on their strengths and rely on Kuleshov effect. Get shots of what they’re feeling in other sources, like through the Tomb Raider gameplay and through the lighting.

POTENTIAL OBSTACLE:

I plan too many shots and we don’t have time to film them all.

POTENTIAL SOLUTION:

Rate shots by priority. Gauge what you need and, time permitting, you can add specific shots in after the fact.

POTENTIAL OBSTACLE:

I don’t know how to communicate my vision with my DP (Frederick).

POTENTIAL SOLUTION:

Talking more rather than talking less is a good idea. Try to really explain how you’re feeling about a shot and what you’re feeling when you watch it back. Be sure to communicate the theme long before the shoot and revisit it with ideas and a detailed shot list.

Director's Reflection

A) Give your overall response:

In 2 or 3 paragraphs, write about your overall experience making and screening this film: Did you achieve what you set out to do? What are you proud of? What did not work as expected and why? What did you learn?

Although this piece definitely wasn’t my best work, I think it had the strongest story of any piece I’ve made and I feel the most confident about the way I behaved on set and my time management skills here than on any other set I’ve been on. I was able to compromise where necessary, allow Frederick (DP) to do his thing without interfering past asking for specific changes important to the overall look, and I was able to work with one of the most adorable children known to mankind which was a treat. actress who played the mother forgot something at my house after the shoot and came back the day after and let me know that she thought I was extremely professional, calm and put together which was an incredible compliment. I’m very satisfied with that aspect of my learning.

I did, however, experience some setbacks and disappointments within this piece. I wish I had had more time to direct the adult actors, but working with our adorable three-year-old star took up a lot of time. I don’t have any regrets about choosing her because she was brilliant and it was an incredible learning experience, but having more time would have made the blocking and the interaction between these actors less stiff. It also would have given me time to help them understand what I really wanted from their characters. With what I gave them though, they did a fantastic job and I am thankful to both of them. The other problems I faced came with the post-production deadlines. Having a current career in post-production you’d think I’d know how to do this by now, but unfortunately I’m still working on nailing that timing. I got sloppy and as a result the cut, the color and the sound are all really wacky. It’s not nearly as good as I want it to be right now, but rest assured that I will come back and fix it up when I get a chance. This class isn’t about beating ourselves down but about building ourselves up through learning experiences, and I’m determined to make every project something that I can learn from even after the assignment has been turned in.

Screening this film to the class was a great experience. I was surprised at first at how the class reacted to a few things. They laughed in places I didn’t expect and smiled at things I didn’t plan for, but I feel it all worked out in favor of the piece and gave it the emotional depth I was hoping for. I think it truly represented my experiences as a child and I hope they felt some of that in this piece. I was extremely happy to find that almost the entire class figured out what the theme was or close to it as well. One of my other classmates came up to me after and told me that even though we aren’t focusing very much on story in this class, they wished they had talked about it more because they were really impressed with how I showed a very complicated issue and how it directly related to me. That was the greatest compliment because although my technical abilities are REALLY obviously lacking, this leads me to believe that I do have potential to be great with more time and practice. It feels good to be understood and validated as a creator even if I still have a very long way to go.

B) Based on the class discussion and your honest evaluation, briefly but specifically respond to the following:

In one sentence, what idea, emotion and/or theme, specifically, did you want to communicate:
Children learn emotional violence much quicker than they do physical violence.

Were you successful? How? Why? Why not?

I believe I was for the most part. The entire class picked up on at least a piece of this theme and I’m happy it seemed to make some of them think about it after it had ended. Maybe that means it wasn’t extremely clear and that was my fault as an editor, but I think making my audience think was one of my goals and I’m happy that came across.

How, specifically, did you try to communicate this idea, emotion, theme:

I tried to communicate this theme through the Kuleshov effect (which works well when you’re working with a very small actress who doesn’t know how to react in degrees other than extremes to things) as well as through the time skip, dialogue and sound design. She learned this behavior from watching her parents, despite having grown up with a mother who was extremely concerned about the violence she was watching in the game. The theme within the game itself, of the home not even being safe (shown through dialogue) conveys this too; Lara is the game character as well as the main character, showing that although Lara’s home should be a place of safety and exploration, it’s really a place of competition, argumentation and anger. It’s safe from physical, but not emotional, harm. I still wish the edit had been better, though.

What did you learn about storytelling:

Transitions aren’t always simple. There are “cliché” transitions that you can always fall back on, but sometimes those are jarring and distracting from the story. In post I was able to manufacture transitions that I think really boosted the quality of the piece, but I want to incorporate those BEFORE I make the film rather than in the cutting room. I’m also learning that I’m pretty okay at it. Of course I can learn more and I need to be better at the production aspect of it, but I’m really happy with my director’s plan and the depth of the theme that I incorporated as well as the visual and audial themes that helped tie it together. I think the story was very strong here even if the way I stitched it together was sloppy. What this tells me is that I have room to improve and that’s exciting!

What did you learn about working with actors and getting performance:

Kids are HARD to work with. I also learned that actors NEED directing. The actors I got to play the parents were really great, I liked their reels a lot and they’re both very talented, but I didn’t have the time to tell them what I wanted and that hurt the film. I haven’t historically been great at asking people for what I want because I respect other people as artists in their own fields so much and I don’t want to undermine their own vision for a character in case what they have in mind is better than what I have in mind. Regardless of this, I think I need to find ways to compromise and work with them so they can show their best strengths under constructive direction. I’ve been directed very poorly before and know how awful it feels to be underestimated and then even insulted by a director on set after the direction they give is terrible, so I need to not make that same mistake.

What did you learn about blocking the camera and actors?

I think what I’m going to do for the rest of my shoots is make a storyboard for every single shot. I’m not great at telling the DP what I want to see, but I’m great at showing them examples of what I’m thinking about and describing things very abstractly, but that’s not really what they need. If I can draw something out, maybe that will help me bridge that gap and give them what they need to thrive. Blocking actors wasn’t something that was difficult this time since it all took place in a small location, but we did have a scare where the blocking was slightly off and I had to fix it in post. It actually served the film that way, but in the future that can’t happen again. Again, incorporating a storyboard will solve this for me in so many ways. It’s like image notes, which make a lot more sense to me than written notes when I’m making a film.

Refer to your Director’s Plan. What specific visual elements and cinematics did you choose to use and what were the rules for their use? Where you successful in the use of that rule?

VISUAL ELEMENT/CINEMATIC

RULE(S) FOR USE

HOW SUCCESSFUL WERE YOU FOLLOWING YOUR RULE?

MONTAGE

Use when exploring what Lara is learning and why she is learning it. Kuleshov effect.

I think I could have made this aspect of the film stronger, but I think I followed the rule very well at least.

MUSIC

The music that plays during the montage in the Lara’s Home level (violence) is the music that we hear during the montage (emotional violence), making it a way to draw a parallel and evoke emotion in the viewer.

The music did a great job drawing the parallel and also evoked emotion. The music worked well for the audience as well.

SILHOUETTE

Not seeing the fighting directly but knowing it’s happening and seeing how Lara takes it keeps the focus on her experience and how she’s feeling.

This didn’t work out properly in the long run, it just didn’t hit properly so I took this aspect out. Didn’t work great for the little girl’s facial expressions, though. Those didn’t read well but the rest of the film didn’t make sense if I’d kept it this way. Oh well, it’s a learning experience.

What did you learn about using the visual elements (space, line, shape, tone, color, movement, rhythm), cinematics, contrast and affinity, lighting, composition, framing, etc.:

I learned a lot about framing. Frederick did a great job as a DP, especially considering I think I did a pretty crap job telling him what I wanted from the shot, but he explained to me why he was doing what he was doing and it really helped me learn a lot about the unfortunate realities of focal lengths and macro vs. zoom vs. cine lenses and just what a difference each of these makes.

What did you learn about design, art direction, locations, etc.:

Art makes a difference. I think I always knew this, but WOW the difference using that old computer made in my film was incredible. It turned out so super well and I’m so excited with the tone it had in the film. The location we used was spot-on, it felt just like a 90’s/early 2000’s apartment and it was almost perfect. I wish I’d had more room to play with set design and been able to plug more of those vibes (using old barbies and toys I had as a kid, etc) but I didn’t have access to most of the things I wanted (everything I own from that time is in storage).

What did you learn about the filmmaking process such as pre-production, collaborating with crew, securing equipment, etc.:

I learned that collaboration comes pretty easily to me and I am good at making friends on set. When I am given the room to lead, I really take the lead and I get things done. However, this only works if I feel/am prepared. I was for this shoot but I haven’t been in the past and the difference here was astounding. Finding actors is also horrifyingly hard. Ew. I hate it. I had so many people apply and agreeing to someone was SO stressful, it felt like I was ruling everything else out and I hated closing off my options. I had to do it though and it was a good lesson to learn.

What did you learn about editing, sound design/music, color correction and/or grading:

You’d think as a professional editor I would know how long it takes to edit and that color/sound takes a lot longer than you think, but as someone with ADHD this is absolutely not the case. I have no sense of time whatsoever. This past week I also worked really hard on a work project that my boss wanted done on a faster time frame than was projected to me, and that chopped a lot of time out of my editing for this project that hurt me in the long run. I’m still figuring out how to manage my time in this class with my jobs and other things I need to do; I’ll get there eventually.

What was it like to watch your film with an audience? Did they understand it? Miss the point? Why did they respond the way they did?

I HATE being in the audience when my film screens. I much prefer hiding just outside the door looking through the crack so nobody knows I’m watching. This might be because I want an honest response from the audience, I don’t want anyone changing their reaction based on the fact that I’m there, but it’s also because I lack confidence in my own work when I first screen it. It’s so hard. I think most creators can relate to that, though. What’s fascinating to me about looking through these notes that I got from my classmates is that some of the themes they wrote down and saw in my work were themes they put into their own pieces. Someone who didn’t get a theme from it at all is a very straightforward person with very straightforward work, and because my theme wasn’t very straightforward I think I lost them a bit with the audio cues and montages. For the most part, I think the audience did understand it though; I know for a fact at least one classmate related to it and understood it exactly and told me so afterwards so that felt very rewarding. I enjoyed that a lot. I can’t say for sure why they responded the way that they did, because it seemed as though they were split between liking the story and not enjoying the low-quality edit (I personally feel that the visuals didn’t fully represent what I wanted, but I don’t know right now how I could have changed that so that might be something to work on for later). Anyway, it was a mixed bag but full of interesting critiques and it was a fun experience.

What will you do differently on your next film because of what you learned on this film?

GIVE MYSELF MORE TIME TO EDIT. Also, make a storyboard and spend more time working with and bonding with my actors so I know better how to work with them. I also want to be better at directing dialogue, because the dialogue in this one was SO forced (although it had to be with such a small kid – yikes. Hard stuff to work around).

Other observations or notes:

None. I have written too much as it is.

C) Production Report (include any notes if necessary)

Hours Preparing Director’s Plan:

~6-7

Preproduction Hours:

~3-4

Shoot Date:

20 January 2023

Call Time:

11:00

Wrap Time:

16:30

Total Production Hours:

5h30m

Total Postproduction Hours:

~5-6h

E) Actors

List the names of any actors who committed to your project then dropped out. Note if they were a BYU student; include any other observations. Do not list the actor if you changed the shoot date and/or time at the last minute!

ACTOR NAME: Djeneba Kourouma, child actress (mother is Kani Magassouba)

BYU STUDENT? NO

REASON FOR DROPPING: Missed flight due to weather

Director's Plan

Director's Reflection

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