Music Mosaic

Winter is often perceived as a time of stasis. The biting cold and fierce winds inspire cozy reading sessions with cups of hot tea, the snow-covered roads preventing much travel or socialization. Chilly toes curl underneath blankets, and the importance of present obligations are put off with a sleepy, “Tomorrow is fine.” 

 

Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons: Winter – Allegro Non Molto tells, perhaps, a different story. Within this piece, the winter is within us and around us, making us anxious, putting us on edge, threatening to overtake our good health and sanity. The possibility of freezing to death, ice eating into our flesh and stealing our breath, maintains a constant presence within the most primal corners of our minds. 

 

For those of us suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD, this is the reality of our winters. Every day is a new battle, our mental health spiraling as the warmth dwindles. The anxiety I feel during the rest of the year gives way to a deep depression, attempting to freeze me in place and prevent me from succeeding in any aspect of my life. I feel the weight of every ineptitude, and the wind howls in laughter at my window as I stare in dejection at the wall. I’ve fought this reality for many years now, and have found that the best way to push against this invisible barrier is to take inspiration from the ferocity and volatility of the season itself. I fight ice with ice. I allow myself to feel these things, appreciating and respecting the volatility and the danger before harnessing that same energy. I climb the snowy mountain, I catch the burning snowflake, I walk on the frozen earth. Some days all I can do is wait out the storm, but others I am able to rush forward, boosted by mimicking the intensity of the season, assisted most definitely by the hand of God. I allow the season to touch me and I take inspiration from its stubbornness, knowing that I can’t avoid it anyway, and that if I decide to work within it rather than around it, I can find beauty in the stark contrast between myself and the world that wants to eat me alive. As much as I hate the way this time of year makes me feel, winter is still my favorite season. 

 

This series of images was done on black paper with white cutouts and red, white and black gel-pen. I wanted the contrast of the light and the dark to represent the conflict both within and without myself without assigning a “goodness” or a “badness” to either color. Sometimes black is the color of danger and foreboding, sometimes white. Sometimes it’s neither, both possessing volatile qualities. 

 

In creating my own interpretation of his piece, I have entirely omitted whatever intentions Vivaldi might have had. When put into the context of his entire Winter suite and then the entire Four Seasons Spring, Summer, and Fall suites along with it, it’s possible this was only supposed to be an audial interpretation of the visual intensity of snow. Despite whatever sounds Vivaldi may have intended to accompany this particular piece, I believe taking it out of context has given it more meaning to my own life and the lives of those who live in similar circumstances. In the name of respecting my own art and the emotions that inspired it, I believe ignorance to Vivaldi’s intentions was the better option. 

 

Although the cold is biting and sharp and makes me bleed, it is still so beautiful, and inspires the greatest of change. Why else would Spring be inclined to arrive if not for the change Winter inspires within her?